The
"Death"
Of Ego
"One
must experience death to be re-born"
- an ancient
insight -
You cannot live, nor can you
be free, until you have died. This
has nothing to do with physical death. Rather, it has to do with the experience of
"death" of a part of your mind that is keeping you from remembering who
you really are.
What do those
words mean? Each of us on this planet has a separate self or an ego
that has become self-centered and selfish throughout the many physical lives
weve spent attached to this planet. This is not how we were prior to the
Fall of mankind.
How did it all
happen? In the beginning, we were all ONE with our Source. We then entered the
physical universe
with free will and the ability to create all that our minds could conceive. We were always God-centered and never separated from our Creator
because of it.
Millions
of years ago our spirits discovered planet Earth and the 3-dimensional ways of life
She had to offer. It
was a magnificent place, a Garden of Eden. In order to experience the wonders of this
planet, we had to lower the vibrations of our Light bodies to that of 3-dimensional
reality. We knew that this denser form of existence was full of risk, but
that did not stop us.
We
were faced with two choices. We could appreciate and enjoy Earth, but not get
attached to
the offerings of her physical world. Or we could loose our oneness
with God and separate from our Source by losing ourselves in Earth's
material pleasures. Sadly, we made the lesser choice, lost our
God-centeredness and eventually forgot who we really are.
If we want to be
free spirits again, as we once were, well have to wake up and remember our true
spiritual nature and divine connection. Weve accumulated a lot of
negative karma while going through the many reincarnational, life-death cycles since the Fall. In order to
balance this karma, all will have to be healed in love and forgiveness.
Ego's
function was, and still is, a useful safety mechanism to protect us in a
3-dimensional environment. For example, the quick response we have when
jumping out of the way of an on-rushing car is the ego's way of protecting
us. This fear-based mechanism is healthy. However, over many
lifetimes of trying to survive in a physical body, the ego has grown out of control.
As a result, fear dominates the way we think and act.
How
do we solve this problem? We need to awaken from our material dream and remember that we are really Beings of Light whose true nature is unconditional love and
God-centeredness. That in turn will lead to higher choices based upon unselfishness,
understanding, humility, caring, giving, forgiveness, sharing and compassion.
In the process of
trying to live such a life, we will go through a profound inner change that is incredible.
Its as though we are wiping the dust off our eyes, as we begin to remember
who we really are.
Can all of this be done in just a single lifetime? I dont think
so. It takes tremendous amount of courage and discipline to lead such a life. But we have to begin sometime, if we
want to be free again.
As we live
a spiritually balanced life, we'll find the ego reacting in a very defensive way. The ego
wants to be the source of all the choices we make in life and is afraid of losing control over
us. The ego will continue with this struggle and will
use fear as a means of maintaining control. The best way to handle this is
to reassure the ego that it has nothing to fear. Tell it that you love it unconditionally, but you no longer want it
to dictate the path of your life anymore.
The closer you
get to relinquishing the ego's influence, the more clever it will become. It
will tempt you with all
it can to preserve a way of being that keeps you grounded in your lower self
and separated from God.
Sooner or
later, you will have to experience the "death" of your ego in
order to reach enlightenment. Once free from fear, life is lived with great feeling, great zest and
our actions are no longer controlled by what we are afraid of.
Spiritual
awakening, meditation, exposing ones self to the universal Truths,
living a life of
unselfish love, self-discipline, and so on puts enormous pressure on the ego and
eventually begins to diminish its influence. The pain of this experience, along with
releasing our attachments to
the material pleasures of this world, can build to a point where it is
called spiritual
crisis or
the dark night of the
soul.
Spiritual
crisis is
a cleansing process that one must go through to reach partial or total ego death. It can be a very
devastating experience that is filled with much depression and despair. But if you can hang on, if you can endure the suffering with
patience, acceptance and surrender, you will have a conscious "death" experience
and become much closer to God for having experienced it.
I am quite
convinced that we will have to go through many
ego death experiences, big and small, before the last vestige of fear, selfishness and
separation has been removed from us. At that point our cup will be emptied.
The dross will have been burned off and we will be who we truly are; God-centered spirits who are free
to roam the universe once again.
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